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your spouse's "less preferred" one-liners that you use weekly

14,438 Views | 163 Replies | Last: 4 yr ago by Decay
Rex Racer
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4:54p, 2/4/22
AG
I tend to speak in an Arnold Schwarzenegger voice things like, "Affirmative" or "I'm going to ask you a bunch of questions. And I want to have them answered immediately."

And lots of Seinfeld quotes, as well.
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maroon barchetta
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In reply to Rex Racer • 4:58p, 2/4/22
Rex Racer said:
I tend to speak in an Arnold Schwarzenegger voice things like, "Affirmative" or "I'm going to ask you a bunch of questions. And I want to have them answered immediately."

And lots of Seinfeld quotes, as well.


I use "negative" a lot and many Seinfeld and The Office quotes. And some LOTR

And a few Star Wars
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Sponge
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5:06p, 2/4/22
AG
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TriAg2010
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In reply to jah003 • 6:40p, 2/4/22
AG
jah003 said:
Anytime I fix anything… could just be putting batteries in something.

"Fixed the newel post!"

I'm convinced my wife just doesn't even hear it anymore I say it so much.


See, in that scenario I go with the Jeremy Clarkson "I mended it!"
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SpreadsheetAg
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In reply to malenurse • 7:15p, 2/4/22
AG
malenurse said:
Sapper Redux said:
Big Al 1992 said:
Anytime the girls in my house say something/anything they get the Jurassic Park "Clever girl…"
"Hold on to your butts"

and, of course, "Life...uh... finds a way."
There is not one single car trip where "Hold on to your butts" is not uttered at least once.


Ah yes; I use it whenever I fix something and am going to turn it on for the first time...

Just remembered some more:

"Game over man! Game over!" /Aliens (Completing a game)

"We're in for some chop!" /Aliens (Driving and there's a bump or something where I need to swerve)

"I'm your huckleberry" /Tombstone (whenever she challenges me or I want to be defiant)

"Look at the size of those maggots!" /Great Outdoors (Taking out the trash)

"Look at the size of that thing!" /Star Wars (looking in the mirror) ::: one of these days she's going to say "Cut the chatter Red 2" I just know it!

...

Not a movie quote , but she hates when I acknowledge her demand with "Jawohl, mein Fuhrer!"
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G Martin 87
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In reply to malenurse • 7:41p, 2/4/22
AG
malenurse said:
Sapper Redux said:
Big Al 1992 said:
Anytime the girls in my house say something/anything they get the Jurassic Park "Clever girl…"
"Hold on to your butts"

and, of course, "Life...uh... finds a way."
There is not one single car trip where "Hold on to your butts" is not uttered at least once.
On our recent Disney trip, the kids (now young adults) pulled out the old "what did the one shepherd say to the other shepherd?" bit when Magic Kingdom was closing. And of course, any ride or snack that was just merely OK was pronounced to be "better than a poke in the eye with a sharp stick."

We were very proud.
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MookieBlaylock
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8:28p, 2/4/22
AG
Dong, Granpa is talking to you

Just insert kid or dogs name


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JYDog90
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In reply to investorAg83 • 9:07p, 2/4/22
AG
investorAg83 said:
BenFiasco14 said:
My girlfriend hates Seinfeld and Curb so there are countless examples. Recent ones in use:

"We are LIVING, in a SOCIETY!"

"Pretttyyyy… preeetty good"


Pretty, pretty good is definitely one in my house. Wife hates those shows too and now she quotes the 'pretty, pretty good' without knowing what it's from.


My 13 yr old has never seen a Curb episode and every day when I ask him how school was he says, "Pretty…pretty….pretty good."
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Pahdz
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1:31p, 2/5/22
Negative ghost rider

What's was that, a slider?

I knew we should have got a live chicken

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maroon barchetta
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1:33p, 2/5/22
I use "Thats a lot of potatoes!" and "Hey jackass, get me a Diet Dr Pepper!" all the time with my son.

He responds with "eat a plum!"

Random, I know.
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Sapper Redux
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1:59p, 2/5/22
I just realized today how much from The Hunt for Red October has entered frequent usage:

"I would like to have seen Montana."
"Way to go, Dallas!" (Usually said in mocking tone when the Cowboys inevitably **** up)
And, whenever I see what my kids are doing, "This business will get out of control. It'll get out of control and we'll be lucky to live through it."
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Raiderjay
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2:13p, 2/5/22
"That's what she said......"
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FtBendTxAg
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2:57p, 2/5/22
AG
ANYthing from jay and silent bob strikes back.

She hates it, so I make sure it's roughly 10% of my dialogue to her.
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Pahdz
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In reply to Raiderjay • 3:44p, 2/5/22
Salute CornPops Message said:
"That's what she said......"


I feel like this is such the obvious answer that everything else is a distant second place. Unless your wife uses it more than you
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TequilaMockingbird
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6:30p, 2/5/22
"What's next, ******"??!!

History of The World, Part I
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St Hedwig Aggie
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7:50p, 2/5/22
AG
Married folks…y'all crack me up! Some of these are funny
Make Mental Asylums Great Again!
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wcb
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8:53p, 2/5/22
AG
There was an episode of Married with Children where Al comes home and declares "Peg, kids, I have an announcement for my family. But since I don't have one, I'll tell you guys."
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Jason_Roofer
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11:53p, 2/5/22
"That's what she said", except I will use the phrase when it makes zero sense. Drives her nuts.

PIVOT!

"Hold on to your butts"

"You serious, Clark?"

At supper time "art, you wanna load me up with a little more there. It's gooUD"

"What we have here is…failure….to comoonucate."

I generally have a long list that just kind of come to me occasionally but these are pretty solid performers throughout the year.

One of HER favorites is when we have a disagreement she'll go with Captain Smek from home with "we can go round and round, let's do it again! "

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tk for tu juan
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3:19a, 2/6/22
No spouse, but I have annoyed plenty of people with:

WE HAVE TO GO BACK
220, 221, whatever it takes
Try the wine
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Madmarttigan
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6:27a, 2/6/22
AG
How you doinn

Never works
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Buzzy
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In reply to G Martin 87 • 8:41a, 2/6/22

Did you see that ludicrous display last night?
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Bruce Almighty
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9:07a, 2/6/22
AG
I've used a riff on a Crimson Tide quote in my classroom a few times. When a student says something like "I thought this was America" , I'll respond with "you're here to learn about democracy, not practice it."
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CoolaidWade
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9:49a, 2/6/22
AG
"Shut your ***** mouth"
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Garrelli 5000
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1:26p, 2/6/22
AG
A new submission that is quickly climbing the charts.

We'd never seen the original Goldfinger JB movie so we decided to watch it this weekend.

I'm going to work in a firm "man stuff" as often as possible until she stops asking what I'm doing. We'll see how many times I can get away w/the line and the accompanying ass slap the Bond does in the movie

Staff - take out the trash.
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BenFiasco14
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In reply to Garrelli 5000 • 1:44p, 2/6/22
AG
Garrelli 5000 said:
A new submission that is quickly climbing the charts.

We'd never seen the original Goldfinger JB movie so we decided to watch it this weekend.

I'm going to work in a firm "man stuff" as often as possible until she stops asking what I'm doing. We'll see how many times I can get away w/the line and the accompanying ass slap the Bond does in the movie



CNN is an enemy of the state and should be treated as such.
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88planoAg
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In reply to Phrasing • 2:47p, 2/6/22
AG
Phrasing said:
"FRONT AND BACK!!!"
user name...
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Garrelli 5000
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In reply to BenFiasco14 • 3:41p, 2/6/22
AG
Haha yes, man talk not stuff!

Gracias
Staff - take out the trash.
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G Martin 87
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In reply to Garrelli 5000 • 4:44p, 2/6/22
AG
Garrelli 5000 said:
Haha yes, man talk not stuff!

Gracias
Be careful with this, or we'll expect you to die.
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ABattJudd
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7:59p, 2/6/22
AG
Whenever we travel (which is a lot), as we walk around whatever town we're in I'll turn to my wife and throw out "I'm glad we could be here together in our nation's capitol" in a thick Forrest Gump voice.

We both toss out Archer phrases on the regular.

"Oh s#itsnacks!"
"You fox-eared *******!"
"PHRASING!"
"Dukes"
"Well, if you can’t have a great season, at least ruin somebody else’s." - Olin Buchanan
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Lavender Gooms
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8:13p, 2/6/22
AG
Don't you put words in people's mouths, you put TURKEY in people's mouths!!

It's like a cow's opinion....it's moo

Anytime she says "question", she knows she's getting a "which bear is best?" Response from me.

Oh that's bull shirt!!
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G Martin 87
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In reply to ABattJudd • 11:04p, 2/6/22
AG
ABattJudd said:
Whenever we travel (which is a lot), as we walk around whatever town we're in I'll turn to my wife and throw out "I'm glad we could be here together in our nation's capitol" in a thick Forrest Gump voice.

We both toss out Archer phrases on the regular.

"Oh s#itsnacks!"
"You fox-eared *******!"
"PHRASING!"
"Dukes"
You're not my supervisor!!!
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Wocka Wocka
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6:43a, 2/7/22
AG
Paraphrasing Johnny Knoxville in Jackass by saying, "Would you like some water, maybe a Shirley Temple?"

For some reason Ben Stiller's, "Do it to it, Lars!" in Heavyweights has always stuck with me. She get's that just about daily.
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Some Junkie Cosmonaut
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9:34a, 2/7/22
AG
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ABattJudd
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In reply to G Martin 87 • 10:03a, 2/7/22
AG
G Martin 87 said:
ABattJudd said:
Whenever we travel (which is a lot), as we walk around whatever town we're in I'll turn to my wife and throw out "I'm glad we could be here together in our nation's capitol" in a thick Forrest Gump voice.

We both toss out Archer phrases on the regular.

"Oh s#itsnacks!"
"You fox-eared *******!"
"PHRASING!"
"Dukes"
You're not my supervisor!!!
Another popular one!

One that actually cracks my wife up is from Guardians of the Galaxy: He got my dick message!
"Well, if you can’t have a great season, at least ruin somebody else’s." - Olin Buchanan
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Legal Custodian
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10:34a, 2/7/22
AG
Anytime someone mentions the omicron strand, I want to respond with this:

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