Ol Jock 99 said:
I think I have a drinking problem. It's been weighing on my mind for a while. I even tried to stop earlier this year, but fell back into old habits.
My particular issue is once I start, I have trouble stopping. It is never one drink. It is 4, 5, more. I've been working to cut back, with limited results.
Came to a head last night. I wasn't planning on drinking at all, but ok, one can't hurt. Before the evening was over, I was wicked drunk. Puking etc. Still feel like utter trash now and can't keep anything down at all.
This is a weird and hard thing to admit, but I think I have a problem. One could probably even say I'm an alcoholic. That's hard to write, but is likely true.
I'm not really sure what the next step to this is, but here's step one I suppose.
Your situation is typical, IMO
Go to work during the day, do your job. Then 5pm rolls around and you have that after-work treat
Then you can't stop
Very common among professionals and those who work during the day, who are also problem drinkers
Do you have a problem? From your description, Yeah, almost certainly
What's the solution? Well, that's the million dollar question. I know this thread is mostly AA advocates, and that probably is a good start. If nothing else, that meeting will keep you out of specs for a couple hours and with others who share your experience. Proximity to alcohol is a HUGE part of the equation. In other words, get it out of the house NOW, and find a way to occupy yourself in the evening that keeps you out of the liquor stores
Thereafter, is AA for you? Maybe. Maybe not. It's not perfect and it's not for everybody. It's a commitment that has helped millions stay sober, but it is not without pitfalls. Only you can decide, but if you don't do AA, find SOMETHING.
But if you take nothing else away from this, take this
1. Get booze out of the house. Eliminate it from reach
2. Occupy your body after 5, or whenever you're vulnerable. And I'm not talking about reading a book or watching tv. That's too easy to put down. DO "Something", whether AA, Celebrate Recovery, exercise, whatever. DO SOMETHING to get your mind off of it
3. You will HAVE to commit, and succeed, to a detox and dry period, probably 30 days minimum. Do what you have to do to "not fail", but if you do fall short, start over and try again and succeed this time. And BTW, #3 will need to involve #'s 1 and 2
So yeah, I'm no psychologist, but what you describe, yes, it's a problem, and yes, it's the type of problem that most problem drinkers experience. So you're in good company
Just my $.02